Cried myself to sleep

August 3 .


Kbox , unhappy ending .

Went to Kbox after work with Love , Jason , Ellaine and Dixon . Took bus over to Cineleisure , had our supper at Hkc , then headed over to Kbox .

Was all well , until Love suddenly got unhappy with me . Coaxing him did not worked at all . Gave up after not long as I am not a very patient person .

He posted hurtful things on Fb , I read already , thought over it for a very very long time .. Crying .. I didn't wanted to cry myself to sleep . So I sms-ed him to talk about it ..

Aww , it was a totally hurtful night , I just couldn't stop crying and typing at the same time , gosh ..

Halfway through there wasn't any replies already , guess he slept already , but he did reply me the next day and we continued on the topic .. then he decided not to reply again and asked Jason to pass me back my sim card .

How does it feels , I guess he got no idea .. We just quarreled w/o a conclusion coming out , and there u are returning me my sim card , for that moment I really thought it was a gone case for us .. And some more what he posted on Fb was something like he's not gonna treat me so good anymore and then followed by a post which says soon , really soon . All these words/actions can be linked and lead to what I thought at that point of time .

It was a torture for me that 2days , the moment I have flashbacks , I tear .. Even when I'm opening the shop , even when I'm just quietly sitting down , when I'm walking to somewhere ..

I don't wanna lose this love of my life . I really love him .

I cannot take it that he still misses his ex gf , sometimes . But I still managed to forced myself to take it . I see him posting comments on her fb , I force myself to take it too .

Why do I want to force myself to take it ..? Cos I love him . I don't want to lose him I'm afraid he will go back to his past love and leave me forever .

He always like to say if I think we are not suitable can tell him , if I dont love him please leave him , it was the same old thing again , this time he said it in a more straight forward way . "If you wanna end this r/s just say out ba." Wtf . He didn't kept his promise to not saying these things again . Was totally pissed off .

In the end .. How we made up ? Act as per normal like nothing had happened . The best make up way for both of us every fucking single time . Do remember , the scar is still there , always , never gone ...

The only thing I know now is ..
I want to stick with him forever !
♥♥♥